Sunday, March 11, 2018

I hafta get out of my own head.

Here I am. Starting another weight loss journey. I want to say this one will be different. I want to say that I won't quit this time. I want to say that I will never see these numbers again.  But the truth is: I have said these things before.

I have even lost weight before. 3 times in fact. And then I get pregnant. This last pregnancy was very hard on my body and my mind as it was unplanned. I adore my little baby girl. I don't adore the body I am now trying to reshape. Again.

I am beginning this blog as a chronicle of my journey. Not my last journey. MY JOURNEY. This journey began back in college when I gained about 60 pounds. I have lost and gained and lost and gained, and had three children in the 17 years since graduating college. This IS my journey.

My head is a perfectionist. It keeps telling me that I need to start on a Monday. On the first of a month. On the first of the year. It tells me that if I miss a day on the program I am following that I have to start over with day one because I didn't complete the program perfectly. It tells me that when I stop for a breakfast sandwich on the way to work, it is completely justified that I eat a box of cupcakes on the way home from work because I already messed up this day. It tells me that when I read the blogs of other friends on similar journeys and I read about their quinoa muffin cups and their celery seed lunches that I am destined to fail.

I have to get out of my own head. Shut up head. You don't own me.

My journey is not starting over-it is continuing. I continue to strive to be healthy, a good mom, a good teacher, a good friend.

During the next 30 days I will:
1. Stop eating in the car.
2. Exercise 5 days per week for at least 20 minutes.
3. Drink only water